Andrea Buera suing Trey Songz 1 Min. Summary

See Original: Woman sues Trey Songz after authorities decline to file charges in domestic assault case-Page Six.   Andrea Buera has known rapper Trey Songz for a while. I guess they dated. At a party in February, she claims he was upset about her talking to another man and choked her and punched her until his bodyguard pulled him off of her. She had him arrested, but LA District Attorney interviewed witnesses and declined to file charges. Now she is filing a civil lawsuit against him.

Besides the obvious question of who’s telling the truth, I wonder…

  • Are all rappers trouble? Trey has certainly been in trouble before.
  • Are all women who hang with male rappers trouble?
  • Do celebrities get away with too much?
  • Does TMZ report honestly? Comments accuse them of emphasizing black men in trouble but I thought they kinda took Trey’s side.
  • Would witnesses at a celebrity party be likely to tell the truth, or to lie for a “friend”?
  • Did Ms. Buera not get supporting evidence from doctors soon after the incident?

If you are ever the victim of an assault, you should document it with professionals asap just in case you decide to pursue legal action later.

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With Family Like This…


See Original: College Station woman charged after attacking family member, authorities say-The Eagle.   Police are called to a domestic disturbance. They interview a drunk lady with cuts on her body. A relative of the lady comes out. Drunk lady screams at her. The relative is treated by an ambulance for lump on her forehead and bloody nose and mouth and claims drunk lady had brought two others into her apartment, beat her with fists and a lamp, then choked her.

I’m left wondering if the apparent victim knew her relative’s potential for this and should have had her door locked and not let her in. Also, I am reminded that self-defense workshops should include defenses against front chokes.

Uber Danger for an Uber Driver and Passenger

See Original: Uber driver in Florida shot and killed man who chased after him in self-defense, authorities say-ABC 13. See Original: An Uber driver killed a man threatening him in ‘classic stand-your-ground case,’ Fla. sheriff says. -Washington Post.   A man, on probation for battery, smoking meth, believed his estranged girlfriend had gotten into the Uber. (Actually, the passenger was a friend of hers she had escorted to the car.) He aggressively followed the Uber with his truck and threatened to shoot the driver. The Uber driver, a concealed weapon permit holder and police academy graduate, eventually shot him dead.

Another reminder extreme people danger can happen to anyone quite suddenly. Lucky he had a gun as I don’t see any other way to handle this situation.

Crazy Lady Uses Car to Kill Nice Neighbor

See Original: Driver in fatal crash accused of stalking victim’s wife– My Plain View.  New Hampshire neighbors’ feud turns fatal-Boston Herald. Crazy lady, while drunk, runs her car into older couple walking their dog. The man and dog died, the wife is in the hospital. They were currently packing to move out of the neighborhood because of how crazy lady had treated them over the last year.

“I am in fear of my safety and my family’s safety due to Ms. Costello’s erratic, aggressive, accusatory, frightful and threatening behavior,” Erin VanDalinda wrote in the September 2017 court filing.

“A couple of times I saw her yelling — from the back porch and out front — yelling obscenities over towards the VanDalindas’ house,” neighbor Brian Henderson said. “I didn’t even see Stephen and Erin respond to it. They never tried to battle back in any form whatsoever.”

They knew the situation was bad, but apparently didn’t know how bad. What do you think, should they have known not to walk outside their house? Should they have left the neighborhood earlier, abandoning their home?

Mollie Tibbetts Murder: What Can We Learn?

Mollie Tibbetts death: Neighbour's security camera leads to police finding body in cornfieldToday, I use news stories about the Mollie Tibbetts (University of Iowa student) murder to teach tips that might benefit you. It is not my intention (or my place) to imply anyone involved did anything wrong. And, only the person facing people-danger has enough information to choose the best course of action.

News Sources

My Summary and Commentary

Mollie Tibbetts, a University of Iowa student, was reported missing about a month before her body was found. Some said Mollie Tibbetts had last been seen jogging. But, social media evidence seemed to imply she had returned home. She was to house sit for her boyfriend and his brother that night.

At first, we wondered if her boyfriend had murdered her. (Most murders are committed by someone known to the victim.) But, he was cleared. Info from her Fitbit showed how far she might have run. Authorities investigated a man who suspiciously photographed female joggers. Later, public interest in the Mollie Tibbetts case focused on a particular pig farmer who refused to take a polygraph test and had once been in a bit of trouble for “stalking” (harassing phone calls to an ex). After all, movies make us think pig farmers are often serial killers.

Authorities found the body of another woman while searching for Mollie Tibbetts. Eventually, someone who lived where she was believed to have jogged provided footage from their outdoor security camera. In fact, the video showed a car circling and following Mollie Tibbetts and a man leaving the car to talk then argue with her.

Police tracked the car to Cristhian Rivera and investigated him. He told them he had spoke to her and become angry. According to him, she threatened to call police then ran from him. He chased her and, apparently, is unclear about what happened from then to when he placed her dead body in a cornfield. (Details are shaky at this point.)

He worked at a farm in the area for four years and is probably a Mexican illegal alien. (In one report, his lawyer disputes that fact.) We can expect politicians to make a big deal out of his immigration status, for their own purposes.

Teaching Points Related to Mollie Tibbitts Murder:

#1 Be easy to find by your loved ones.

Should you be a victim of foul play, or suffer an accident, you want people to notice it quickly and start looking for you. Think how we had no idea another woman was missing (the first body found). But, we all worried for Mollie Tibbitts safety because her family worked hard to find her.

#2 It’s great if we all come together to look for a person missing in suspicious circumstances.

Sadly, in this case, efforts didn’t save Mollie Tibbitts. But, in many other cases, efforts of local authorities plus the FBI plus the public could find a missing person before it’s too late.

#3 Running doesn’t solve every self-defense concern.

Mollie was a good runner. It currently seems she knew she was in danger and decided to run as a strategy. Don’t run from an attacker if you don’t know exactly where you will run and have reason to believe you will get there well before your attacker. Yelling to attract attention is another option. In armored assailant self defense classes, ladies can learn the best way to yell when in danger. And, they can train themselves to avoid angering a potential attacker further while speaking to them. (The wrong words can push a person “over the edge” into doing things they otherwise wouldn’t.)

#4 There is no good reason not to take an armored assailant self-defense class.

One danger of running is that it puts the attacker behind you. It’s harder to fight when grabbed from behind than when grabbed from the front. Another danger of running is that, if you are caught and must fight, you may be out of breath so less able to strike hard. In an armored assailant self-defense class like taught by Model Mugging, IMPACT, Resolve, or FAST Defense, ladies learn effective verbal tactics and to fight an attacker from the front and from behind.

Click here for a list of classes that might be in your area! Or, call whichever is closest to you and see if they could travel to you if you get a group of ten or so friends to take a class with you. If you call a FAST Defense location, tell them Marcy Shoberg asked if they could include rear attacks in their beginner workshop. IMPACT, Model Mugging, and Resolve always include rear attacks in the beginner workshop. I’m also personally available to travel for workshops based on my book Not Prey: Facing the 7 People-Dangers for Young ladies.

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Pushed Off Bridge: What if it Was You?

Teen Pushed Off Bridge from nypost.comToday, I use news stories about Moulton Falls Teen Girl Pushed Off Bridge August 7 2018 to teach tips that might benefit you in similar situations. It is not my intention (or my place) to imply anyone involved did anything wrong. And, only the person facing people-danger has enough information to choose the best response.

News Sources

My Summary and Commentary

Some teenagers were at Moulton Falls Regional Park near Portland Oregon. They lined up to jump off of a bridge and land in water below. It’s illegal to jump there. But, lots of kids and adults do it. And, some get seriously injured. One girl (Jordan) had second thoughts when it was her turn and hesitated. Another, slightly older girl (Taylor), gave her a shove.

Jordan hit the water badly. We can assume she would have hit it better if she willingly jumped. Initially, news reports implied Taylor’s identity was unknown and she was much older. Later, she was accused of acting as if she didn’t care that she contributed to Jordan’s serious injuries. Lately, news reports have clarified that Taylor is 18, only 2 years older than Jordan. Some have implied that they are [were?] friends. Furthermore, authorities are considering charging Taylor with a crime.

Tips Related to Teen Girl Pushed off Bridge:

#1 Just because your friends jump off a bridge, that doesn’t make it a good idea for you

That’s a bit obvious. And, it’s a cliche. But, let’s not forget both Jordan and Taylor were participating in an activity they knew to be high-risk. It’s not my place to say you need to play it safe all the time. But, don’t fail to notice risky choices of friends or activities for what they are.

#2 If you are shoved from behind, turn with the push, letting it move you forward, while raising the arm on that side.

There is no “move” I know of that could have been used by Jordan to prevent her falling off the bridge since she could not step on ground in front of her. But, the move I explained above is a great one to know. It keeps you from falling due to the push (unless you are pushed off bridge) and puts you in a position to see and, if necessary, attempt to strike the person who pushed you.

#3 When you get an impulse to do something funny, quickly imagine through what is likely to happen next.

I suspect Taylor thought pushing Jordan would be funny and maybe helpful to Jordan. Sometimes people need a push from a friend to do something they fear. However, this is not one of those times. I suspect it didn’t occur to Taylor that Jordan would be very likely to mess up the landing if she was pushed rather than mentally prepared to jump. It’s nice there are comedians in the world. And, acting on impulse doesn’t usually cause problems. But, in the rare case it does, it might be a problem big enough to get the whole internet mad at you. Think before you act to avoid that.

#4 In the aftermath of an emergency, consider how your actions will be interpreted.

I don’t know if Taylor is as heartless as news reports make her seem. The media does go overboard to hype stories like Teen Pushed Off Bridge. If she feels no remorse for what she did though, it’s probably not her fault. After all, our feelings are products of our genetics and upbringing. Still, what we do with our feelings are choices. If you are ever in a situation where something you did could be interpreted as super-duper wrong, immediately display actions others would interpret as showing you are super-duper sorry. Even if you think everyone mad at you is wrong, don’t be defensive about it. If you can’t be sorry for what you did, be really, really sorry the situation happened.

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Children Found Alive In ‘Nailed Boxes’: How You Could Help in Such Situations

Children Found Alive In \'Nailed Boxes\' in Suspected Child Trafficking OperationToday, I use the news story about Children Found Alive in Nailed Boxes in Farmington Missouri from early August 2018 to teach tips that might benefit you. It is not my intention (or my place) to imply anyone involved did anything wrong. And, only the person facing people-danger has enough information to choose the best course of action.

News Sources

My Summary and Commentary

Two adults were arrested after it was discovered they were keeping four children (age 6-12) in separate specially constructed rooms. The rooms were basically large boxes without windows or running water. At first it was thought they might be planning to traffic the children. (That means sell them to someone who would use them for an unknown purpose.)

However, that may not be the case. The woman (Laura Cheatham) is the adoptive mother of the children. She is separated from their adoptive father and living with the man who was arrested with her (Daryl Head). Laura recently quit a job with Missouri Department of Corrections. She had ordered “uniforms” for her children from there. He worked as a children’s counselor. Interestingly, he had been asked “not to return” by the school district where Laura Cheatham’s children attended school. As I understand it, he continued to work in other school districts.

The children were rescued by police after someone called the Missouri Child Abuse Hotline. It seems to me the adults were feeling like the children needed, for some reason, to be treated as if they were in jail.

Tips Related to Children Found Alive in Nailed Boxes:

#1 Just Because Someone Has a Good Job, It Doesn’t Mean They Aren’t a Nut-Case

I don’t know how these two crazies found each other, or which one is the craziness leader. She may have thought “he’s a children’s counselor, he’ll be a great influence on my brats.” He may have thought “she has four kids and a government job, she must be a responsible person.” Whichever is the craziness follower is wishing they had been a little slower to get into that relationship.

#2 Get to Know Your Neighbors and Coworkers

There are probably many people who are now wishing they had realized the kids needed rescue at an earlier point. Someone who worked with her at MDOC let the police know she had ordered jail uniforms for her kids after this story broke. Too bad nobody asked more questions about why she wanted the uniforms. Too bad nobody checked on her more after she quit. They may have found out she was struggling to raise her kids in a safe way. Maybe they could have gotten her help. People probably knew him (Head) from his work with school children and may have seen signs he needed help.

#3 You Can’t Entirely Trust Anyone Else with Your Kids Safety

Whether he was the craziness leader or follower, it seems shocking that someone who could even be a party to something like this could be a children’s counselor. Parents should always be open to the possibility that someone an authority has deemed safe to work with kids is actually not.

#4 Never Think Child Abuse is Not Your Business

I know some people claim “child abuse” to get revenge on a person. And, some people are too quick to decide a kid is being abused just because they have a bruise. But, thank goodness someone finally called-in this situation to the child abuse hotline.

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Brawl over Little League Game: Avoid and Stop Fights

This is commentary by me, author of Facing the 7 People-Dangers self-defense books. Today, I use the parent/coach fight (“Brawl over Little League Game”) in Plano, Texas June 14, 2018 to teach self-defense tips that might benefit you in similar situations. It is not my intention (or my place) to imply anyone involved did anything wrong.

From My Sources

Grown How to Stay out of a Fight: Brawl over Little League Gamemen brawl over Little League game view original web page at

The coach of the losing team threw blows with a father from the winning team over comments made. It was determined to be a “mutual fight between the two parties.” So, no charges have been filed. more info from cbslocal, original less-edited footage

My Thoughts

Highlights of the New York Post video titled Grown Men Brawl over Little League Game include “You got somethin’ to say about second place ain’t bad?” said with attitude in the voice, “You look like you wanna do somethin,” and “Come here.” The footage on YouTube doesn’t include some of those parts, but shows more of the aftermath of the fight. Both show other adults recording the fight, trying to break it up, and calling the police.

The relevant self-defense tips:

  1. A person can keep themselves from reacting to another’s derogatory looks and statements. This would keep a fight from starting. When thinking clearly, most people would find that preferable to making national news for something like this.
  2. Statements like the ones made before the fight became physical (NY Post video) show intention to fight. If you say these things, you are more likely to get into a physical fight. And, you would probably lose in court if you sue the person for medical expenses. And, you would probably be unhappy to find the legal system uninterested in punishing them.
  3. It might seem tacky to record such a thing, and video can be edited to slant facts. But, in this case it probably helped the authorities make the decision not to punish anyone. Too, adults often behave more maturely if they know they are being recorded.
  4. If you’re going to try to break up a fight, you need a team. The less physically able man wisely first stayed out of the way then got involved again, as back-up, when the stronger man tried to physically stop the fight.
  5. If you do try to physically break up a fight, don’t hamper one fighter in a way that gives the other an advantage. (In this case, those breaking up the fight sometimes hampered one and sometimes hampered both. And, for some time, we don’t see enough to know.)
  6. If you would ever consider actually taking the risk to break up a fight, you absolutely should be willing to get involved before blows are thrown, when the fight is only mean words, tones, and looks. The longer video (YouTube) clearly shows the main fight-stopper doing just that when a woman uses inflammatory words.

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Weekly “People-Danger in the News” Round-Up with Self-Defense Tips

self-defense tipsAren’t you tired of the same few self-defense tips passed around the Internet since it began? Simply sign up at right (or below on mobile devices) to receive our weekly People-Danger in the News Round-Up.

You’ll get short summaries of timely news you may have missed, with related self-defense tips. And, each article will have links to news sources for more information.

So, with our newsletter, you can be the one sharing relevant, modern self-defense tips people can really use!

For frequent shorter news articles with self-defense tips:

Double Win in Book Contest 2018

Both Not Prey and Defeat Bullies and Bad-Guys did very well in the Human Relations Indie Book Awards 2018.

Not Prey: Facing the 7 People-Dangers for Young Ladies Book 1 won Gold in the category of “Problem Solving Human Relations Indie Book.”

But, I’m more excited about Defeat Bullies and Bad-Guys: Kids Can Face the 7 People-Dangers. It tied for Silver in a highly competitive category: “School Age Human Relations Children’s Indie Book.”

You can see the complete list of winners here: